new year

when the covers are tucked

under the bed frame

so tight ankles stiffen

toes only point

to the end

cannot sleep like this

chunks of something

at the back of my throat

to start a new decade

friends, their bodies

weigh down the covers

on either side

of my body

hold me when it shakes

bring liquids

speak what they truly want

across my hairline

put me to sleep

when i am with child

there is only a moment

for my body

its shaking and

upheaval

no privacy with her

calling my name

beyond the door

my own hand and head

against porcelain

only for a moment

if i was a child

someone would always

touch me

when things hurt

lay hands on forehead

and chest, cheek on belly

stay with me

until deep breaths